God’s gift has been annulled, and touch has been removed. Each loving kiss, simply slides off the skin and lands on the ground. Here i’ve been for fifteen minutes, secretly staring at the result of your action from the last fifteen seconds.
These hands of yours, grab onto each side of my heart and converge towards one another.
Endless questions, seeking reciprocation, reaching out towards the darkness. There is no gleam, there is no glow, but you insist to me. A will finds a way. A hope can light our galaxy for decades.
Yet, the light retreats into the darkness. Does your hand reach towards the light only for it’s glow? Is this just one more mindless thirst?
Bound, a defenseless calf. The harvest of the living, the creation of a carcass. With love, feel my hands grasp the muscles of your throat.
From between the gaps of your teeth. Shined a light, a galaxy hidden within your shit eating grin.
At my peak, I fear the crash. My addiction hates me for even writing down these words. I Want to continue on, until I collapse. Once I hit the ground, i’ll pass into the second world. A world where things feel beautiful, where time passes in seconds.
At my peak, I imagine being even higher. I yearn to lose this physical body. I yearn to become so much more.
I write you off, as unfitting. Out of denial, but I will never know about what we could of been.
I’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m not sorry
Maybe, I could of been the man of your dreams
The two of us will be clueless, and it will go on and on, endlessly.
As real as trees hanging from rear view mirrors. Just tell me, who held you shivering. It’s too cold to go outside. Endless mediocre jobs for the poor. Tell the truth, does it feel like anything when you speak?
In school they never told stories of beautiful addicts. Just because it’s ugly doesn’t mean it’s hard to look at. Yet, it won’t be hard to see.
The weight of your stare, it’s bruising. I’m watching your skin crease as your mouth opens wide. Without any effort at all you say
” is anything wrong?”
As always, you’re tearing me apart. There is nothing new about this feeling. Anxiety has wrapped itself around my bones, and in your gaze I stand alone.
No time to reply. If there is too much thought, it won’t seem honest enough. When I look at you, there is only a reflection. When you look at me, you see right through.
“I’m okay.”
Seconds have become hours, letters become entire sentences. There’s so much difficulty in each moment of this. How could it be so easy for you? On the walk home, I felt nothing but jealousy for every constellations who would say good night to you. Whom, you’d look at right before you fell sound asleep. I wanted to be anything in the universe except for me.
There will always be that love. As old as the dim light that shines in the corner of each room. Spend your nights, convincing yourself that it’s a missing part. The piece that will return and complete you. No, i’ve learned that lesson too many times. Love and longing are two very different things.
How did you manage to do it? Make beauty stay, how do you manage to be okay. No matter how far ahead I get. I will always be only just keeping up. Trace my hand along the edge of your face, as if i’m tracing each and every star in the sky above.
White lace, every inch of you was painted. Sell my soul , take away what makes me profound. Our legion of addicts, my individuality weights me to the ground
Kiss me, my anchor, you love the way it wraps around. Ball and chain, our own individuality. For years they told us, please try and turn it down.
A mind unmade, dirty and spread out. Is this journey only to find one like the first? Simplicity is a dream to me.
God took the knife, shaved me down. Tracing, trying to find why each and every curve, bends around.
Document, your each and every mistakes. I need you to tell me everything. I need to be held up to the flame. I need to see what color I will burn. I need to know the answers to every question. I want to know why all of us are so plagued by addicition.
Look at me, I don’t want to be empty anymore. Where are the quotations? All our words are shared, what does it matter who said what anymore.
Wondering who took it tonight as well. A dealer shaped story, a night worth missing.
Do my best, hold my breath, hope for your future, and hope to never let you go.
I’m feeling you leave my ears. No, please, I need this. Everything is leaving, and the moon kisses our sky goodbye.
A hand moves it’s way up the wall, following it’s self made map. When you’re not even looking, it seems you find it all.
I’m feeling you leave my ears. No, please, it’s everything. Wrapped around my chest, if only something as sweet, could be my insides.
My mother would say.
“Damn, it’s a shame. Our son became such a thing.
I’m peeling stars from the sky, and kissing your dreams good night.
When the light turned off, I felt the darkness slowly swallowing me whole. Love has always become, something I never wanted at all.
When you were gone in the morning, a new found expression found me. The feeling of when you finally understand everything after all.
This head of mine, sways with each line in the sidewalk. Hold it, maybe you’ll get it. Maybe, you’ll get it, this time. With all the flashing colors, and all the drinks passed my way. Two years in two minutes time, and nothing but regret is left deep inside me. Just tell me, are you nervous? Are you feeling a little sick. I’m falling asleep, in the passenger seat. Only to turn and ask you, is it creeping up behind you.